When the line is too long, and the baby is too hungry…
When you get through the line and manage to feed the baby at the same time…
When you find a bench to catch your breath while the baby finishes brunch/lunch/lupper/linner…
When you suddenly realize you haven’t been to the washroom in six hours and need to go, like, now…
When the baby finishes just in time for you to run to the restroom…
When the family bathroom is both mysteriously empty and locked from the inside…
When you realize the only way to do this is to hold the baby in your arms while you, um, take care of business in a regular stall, leaving your $7,583.76 stroller idling alone in the corridor with $495 worth of accessories attached to it…
When the baby thinks this crazy set-up is the perfect time to throw up her entire meal on you, and in turn, your last clean shirt…
When you somehow make it to the car despite the fact that everyone thinks your baby is cute, but evidently not cute enough to warrant holding the door open for you…
When you know that now is a guaranteed, one-hundred-percent acceptable, totally appropriate time to ball your eyes out…
When you look in the rear view mirror and see your little maniac smiling at you… and decide to limit the tears to a quick jag instead of the full-blown cry fest you so desperately need, because someone else needs you more…
That’s when you know you’ve graduated from dabbling in motherhood to being some one’s mom. Holy shit, I’m tired.
